RANSVESTIA

she took the scissors and sewing machine to all his pants, long and knickers. Everything he had from then on werre short pants for about the next six months. Fall into winter into spring. The only boy in school wearing shorts in wintertime. This made me feel good but gave my brother a silly gut feeling.

A few years later when my brother was about 14 he had a fearful feeling toward initiation into high school. He had seen some older boys forced to wear girl's clothes and run through downtown. Our town was very small and hardly anyone saw initiations going on. But my brother would lay in bed worrying about initiation. Fearful that the sophormores would force him to release me for a fleeting moment. One night while he was home alone he anguished over the prospects for his inner self. He went to the laundry room and shuffled through the dirty clothes which were always just laying on the floor. He found his mother's bathing suit. It was a two-piece. The bottom part was a nylon skirt with panty attached. He put them on for the first time and I jumped right out. The thrill was overwhelming. So that from then on he would head for the bathing suit whenever the opportunity arose. We spent many hours in the attic. I should say, I spent many hours in the attic because after he once put on the suit he was no longer present. But in the attic, where I lived, there were more clothes. His mother's dresses from the past and out of style. I would wear them for hours. Dressing and undressing. Trying on old nylons and girdles. Also slips and panties.

My brother enlisted in the Navy after high school. I was pushed back into that closet. His closet in is head. He thought about me but was never in the position to release me. After discharge and a couple of years on the road in business (music), he met his wife. They married and he thought he was rid of me forever. Time passed. He had children to help raise and a business to occupy every minute of everyday. Finally the children were gettng older. Old enough for his wife to take them for a week to grandma's. Brother would wait until after they were safely miles away and then buy a dress and a pair of pantyhose. And in the wee hours of the morning, from about 3:00 until time to go to work, I would come out. Just a dress and panty- hose back and forth in front of a mirror. Sit and read the paper after it arrived. Fix coffee and toast. Wash the dishes and watch the time. My time would end about 7 a.m. It was hard on him but he gave me those hours every day that whole week.

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